Does He Love Me?

We were high school sweethearts.  Everything seemed like it was lining up perfectly. It was my senior year, and he was a sophomore in college.  That December, I was accepted into the school I wanted to go to – Hiram College – and that weekend, he and I were dubbed the queen and king of my school’s winter formal. (That picture is us at winter formal.)  It couldn’t get any more magical than that.  Life was grand!

Then the clock struck 12 and he turned into a rotten pumpkin.

My boyfriend of 2.5 years dumped me for a college cheerleader.  (We reconciled and moved on since then.  He admitted he was a rotten pumpkin and I forgave him, but I still get to write about it, eh?)

My first heart break was a series of lessons, one of which included how to know if a guy really likes you.  (He genuinely did when we were dating, until he turned into a rotten pumpkin.)

#lessonsfromanunexpectedlife

So ladies, if a man genuinely loves you, you will know it.  He will have consistent, clear actions.  You won’t feel confused because there won’t be any mixed signals.  He will want you to undoubtedly know that he’s interested in you. As they say, words are cheap, so pay attention to his actions.  In case you need more clarity, here’s what to look for.

Signs That He’s Interested In You /  Loves You

• wants to see you and make opportunities to get together
• prioritizes you
• considers your well-being
• acts chivalrous
• wants to provide for you and take care of you (this is instinctual)
• wants you to feel that he’s reliable, dependable, consistent
• is interested in your thoughts, your life
• consistently communicates
• supportive of your individual goals
• lets you know that you’re on his mind
• shows respect for your boundaries and opinions
• listens to you when you talk and is interested in what you’re saying
• trusts you
• shows physical affection and does acts of service to make you happy
• is receptive to feedback
• is proud of being in a relationship with you and wants to introduce you to his friends and family, incorporating you into all aspects of his life
• allows himself to be vulnerable with you
• is willing to have the tough conversations
• is willing to compromise
• updates you about his life
• remembers the small things
• is emotionally supportive when you need it
• includes you in his future plans
• makes decisions with you

Signs That He’s Not Interested In You

• says very directly, “I’m not interested in/ready for a relationship” or “let’s see how things go”
• avoids making plans or creating opportunities to see you.  People make time for things they deem valuable.  If he’s ok with not seeing you for a long period of time or not at all, he’s not interested in you.
• doesn’t initiate contact.  If you’re doing all the calling, texting, etc. then you’re not worth his time
• doesn’t remember what you say or important dates
• is fine having sex or sexting, but does not go out on proper dates
• is emotionally distant or avoids deep conversations
• hasn’t introduced you to his family or close friends
• lacks thoughtful gestures
• avoids eye contact or non-sexual physical closeness like holding hands
• unwilling to compromise or put in effort

The bottom line is this: if he wants you, it will be blatantly obvious.  If a guy likes you, he makes it known without a shadow of a doubt. He will want you to feel his love.

If you feel confused or insecure, if you’re questioning his feelings, then search no further because he’s not interested in you.  Move on.

Allow space in your life to receive someone who appreciates your worth, values you, and cherishes you. Don’t hold on to a placeholder.  Make room for a new person and be open to dating.  Mister Right is out there somewhere looking for you.

Disclaimer:  This article is not intended as a substitute for therapy.  It’s for informational purposes only.  If you are struggling with relationship matters or depression, please contact a qualified mental health professional.